A Simple Desultory Philippic (or how I was Lyndon Johnsoned into submission)

written and performed by Paul Simon
from "The Paul Simon Songbook."
Transcribed by Erik Strom.

      G             Bb        
I was Union Jacked, Kerouac'd

C             Eb                   
John Birched, stopped and searched

G                  A7      C        D     
Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind

           G           Bb             
 I've been Ayn Randed, nearly branded

C              Eb              
Communist 'cos I'm lefthanded:

G                    A7               G     C Eb G G  C Eb G G   
That's the hand they use, well, never mind!

          G              Bb           
I've been Walt Disneyed, Dis Disleyed

C              Eb              
John Lennoned, Krishna Menoned

G              A7          C       D    
Walter Brennan punched out Cassius Clay

      G                    Bb         
 I've heard the truth from Lenny Bruce

    C                   Eb            
and all my wealth won't buy me health

G             D             G   C Eb G G  C Eb G G   
 So I smoke a pint of tea a day

 I knew a man his brain so small, 

He couldn't think of nothin' at all.

He's not the same as you and me.

He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that

             G                                     C             
When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talkin' about Dylan Thomas,

Whoever he is.

    F                G        
The man ain't got no culture,

But its alright, Ma,

It's just sumpthin' I learned over in England.

          G             Bb           
I've been James Joyced, Rolls Royced

C              Eb              
Mick Jaggered, silver daggered

G                     A7          D     
Andy Warhol won't you please come home?

          G                 Bb              
I've been mother, fathered, aunt and uncled

C                 Eb         
Tom Wilsoned, Art Garfunkled

G                A7              G           
Barry Kornfeld's mother's on the phone

G               Bb         
When in London, do as I do

C               Eb             
Find yourself a friendly haiku

G                D              G     
 Go to sleep for ten or fifteen years

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